Grief leads us to traverse new paths
Avenues I would have never expected to travel
A new ride revealed...
Joni Travels Well - The Freedom Movement
When I lost my younger sister to A.L.S. this past May, I found myself already in transition while also in the midst of a temporary move across state lines to accommodate loved ones, stay committed to analog passions, and to further my career.
With multiple intense variables at play, I toyed with the idea of writing another blog. The thought of writing on a more personal versus professional level kept floating around in my foggy brain. My father and grandfather both published books long before the act became a marketing tool. And advisers have communicated that I have a book in me. But when your world feels a bit like it’s falling through your fingers, the basics of each day were all I could take on. I've stretched myself in recent years to share on a more intimate level. It is far from a comfort zone. Yet something different was bubbling up.
In all transparency, I’ve never been able to stick to keeping a journal. But the bubbling was bubbling and with my holistic health, mindset, high performance, and geeked out brain function knowledge and experience, I knew writing to be one avenue to move through tough times, ground myself during a lengthy, tenuous and transitional period, and hey, maybe even add another layer of income as I’m a strong believer in diversification.
Diversification has, for me, been THE way.
This idea of blogging was shot down. I’m not sure why. I was looking for an extra way to be accommodating, flexible and adaptable. I was seeking another layer, beyond what I had already planned, to move away from "holding space" for others all day every day, during a time when I needed to lean into self-care and hold space for myself, as well as those closest to me. Such strange ideas we, more often as women, try to offer, right?! Only another therapist, coach, teacher, or healer with back-to-back clients full-time identifies with the fatigue experienced within these career paths. If you know, you know.
But as Theodore Roosevelt wrote, and more recently picked up wholeheartedly by research professor and author, Dr. Brené Brown, “It is not the critic who counts...”.
Rephrasing the next line…
The credit belongs to the man or woman who is deep down in the shit of it...
Yup. I was in the shit of it.
While well-prepared and having grieved as much as I learned how in advance, you cannot relate to how big massive grief works until you experience it. I lost friends in high school, college, in my 20s and 30s, all grandparents and pets. But a younger sibling has a different ring to it. And then, if at all accompanied by a host of other “off” ingredients, let me tell you, you are in for a ride.
But we survive. And she is free.
What has kept me laser-focused and (mostly) at peace with it all, even whilst becoming the target of projection and judgment, as well as disowned, is that she is finally FREE of one of the most awful experiences on the face of this planet. A disease that I personally do not believe solely exists from what the Western medical community believes alone. If you have heard of the documentary HEAL, they are now releasing bonus segments including addressing extreme afflictions such as A.L.S. and P.L.S.. I firmly believe allowing different philosophies and psychologies to co-exist is key.
When no way is the ‘right’ way, we thrive.
A lighter and brighter path emerges...
Today "traveling well" takes a different course. We either resist or roll with it, right?
What we resist, often persists, and will come back around again until we course-correct. Keeping in mind corrections can include roundabouts. "Failure" is something every single human being experiences. All it is, is another opportunity to learn, course-correct and progress. Progression is where we find extraordinary well-being.
Joni Travels Well - The Freedom Movement is not actually about me. It’s about union. It's about ALL of us.
The adventure now begins again…
We truly never know where any adventure will take us. But this one is rolling out HERE.
Inside & Out,
The Man in the Arena
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt